Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Absurd & Ridiculous

Breaking news from the Bureau of Statistics, Fantasy, Media and Corrupt Big Pharma. Top doctors have said that blonde women should be encouraged to undergo gender reassignment and permanent black hair colouring. A survey published in The Walt Disney Journal of Mickey Mouse Studies today has revealed that woman have at least 50 times more risk of developing breast cancer than men. The cost of woman to the health service has been phenomenal for decades said Patrick Hewless, The Minister for All That is Right for People's Health (95), and the tax on tobacco will no longer support this scandal.

The Independant Committee of Finiancially Interested Parties will report next week on the actions needed to correct this decline in the nation's health. It is thought that the forthcoming ban on women will be phased in with all women being offered free beards and being encouraged to have dicks strapped to their waists. Women only areas in pubs will be closed.

Non-smoking, lesbian, size 10 women, who do not eat burgers, are planning a protest claiming that they should at least be able to eat with their partners in Nottingham on the grounds that their tits are very small.

It has been suggested that being blonde increases the risk of being a women although the study quoted has not been found yet. It is proposed therefore to allow blonde women to colour their hair black as long as they ensure no-one sees the pubic hair.

Health campaigners ARSE have said women should be banned and have proposed mass extermination with environmental tobacco smoke as the only option.

Additionally the immediate ban on red meat will now be unnecessary as women will no longer be present to eat it.