Saturday, May 19, 2007

Disney defies anti-smokers

In Florida, dodging the anti-smokers, I came across a walk-in humidour! Shell shocked, I reeled back and found The Sosa Family Cigar Company in Downtown Disney. Still staggering in disbelief, I joined the queue to get in. This was without doub the most well frequented shop in the walk of shops. Dressed up in the regalia of the red indian, the shop had real atmosphere and an especially correct one inside the humidour room.

Advertising the historic family traditions of the company and of the cultural traditions and pleasure of the handrolled cigar it seemed incongruous, however welcomed. I'm sure ASH would have something to say about this.

Enjoy the links below and be amazed.

Pictures I promised above and below:


Wednesday, May 16, 2007

"Patricia Hewitt"

Well, our dearest Secretary of State for Health - Batty Patty Hewitt - looks like she has finally come to the end of her rope. We hope so as she's been so incompetent and stupid it beggars belief. We think Patty should be given the benefit of the doubt though when it comes to the issue of cocking up the database as a result of which many newly qualified young doctors have been denied a job. This is because our moles in the Department of Health have informed us that the whole fiasco was not really her fault because a dog weed on her computer. See, we have the proof!


Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Thought for the day!

Life would be much better lived backwards...

You'd start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, wake up in an old peoples home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready to start school. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then.......... you spend the last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day, and then, you finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case!

I rather like that!


Dr WHO Evidence

smoking bans

I very boring but poignant article has been published on The Lancet Online. It explains in quite some detail how WHO guidelines and pronouncements on public health are flawed by inadequate processes. It doesn't really tell us anything we did not already know, but it's an interesting development as The WHO have been staunch backers of the alienation of us smokers. Read more...

Unfortunately NICE (The National Institute for Clinical Excellence), part of the government's attempts to interfere with the NHS, has not come under such scrutiny as yet. However it clearly needs to as it sprouts all the same old nonsense in its latest production on "Smoking in Workplaces". Read more...

I suppose it's a told you so moment!


Saturday, May 05, 2007


ASH are pleased to announce their slug clones, new cheery companions developed by Glaxo to help people stop smoking. Oozing real slime and real bad breath you just pop one of these cheeky little chums into your mouth every time you feel like a cigarette.

With a choice of two versions, the Wilmore (featured above) or the Arnott (below) these little clones, available in suck friendly non-carcinogenic plastic, just taste so awful after popping one in your mouth for half an hour you don't feel like smoking or eating for a week. "This revolutionary approach will solve that horrid old problem of putting on weight after stopping smoking," said Dr Ambrose Graft of Glaxo Europe. Also, let's not forget to mention that these are lying slug clones (ever seen a slug stand up?) and if you need a night-light their eyes light up in the dark letting you know you not alone.

The slug clones will soon be on the market at £300 each (making them much cheaper than patches and gum) but in the meantime, as a special promotional offer ASH are giving away free clones for a period of one month. So send ASH an e-mail enclosing your name and address accompanied by the words:

"I am a filthy nicotine addict grovelling before you and I claim my free Wimore/Arnott (delete as necessary) slugclone."

Here is what three satisfied slug clone owners have already said about this wonderful product.

"I cannot tell you how pleasant it is down the pub with no nasty smoke. But when I feel like a cigarette I just suck my slug clone. All my friends have admired it and asked me where I got it. You can always tell a slug clone user. They have a green mouth."

Mr A. Dyckhead (Hants)

"Yes, I am a test pilot and I cannot tell you what a comfort it is when I'm up there in a nose dive with the pull of 9Gs on my body to have that extra slug clone protection."

Mr Jet Crash (Biggin Hill)

"The slug clone is wonderful. Now hair grows on the palms of my hands all day long."

Mrs Lou Neebin (Durham)


Thursday, May 03, 2007

Smoke, Mirrors & Percentages

Nic Fleming’s article in The Daily Telegraph, reporting the work of Prof. Dennis Black, illustrates some important numerical confusions. I would draw attention to the second to last paragraph where the “throw away” comment says that patients in the trial had 3 times the risk of having a heart rhythm abnormality. If one makes a mathematical approximation to simplify these numbers for the purposes of illustration the expectations of this treatment may not be so readily recommended by NICE. If one assumes an incidence of 100 per population each for hip fractures, spine fractures and the abnormal heart rhythm then the percentage changes Prof Dennis work reportedly shows would mean the following. 41 less hip fractures, 70 less spine fractures and 200 more abnormal heart rhythms. My readers will appreciate that I have deliberately invented the incidence rate to illustrate a purpose and that these conditions' incidences are not all the same. I do however think it is an important point to make about the use of percentages, relative risk ratios and multiplier comparisons in the reporting of health matters. I personally would support a wholly more responsible level of reporting that at least attempted to reveal the truth.