Tuesday, August 07, 2007

"Stars Are Born"

By Blad Tolstoy

After some deliberation as to what protesting smokers should be called, it was decided, following the suggestion of a canny Scotsman and without too much difficulty, that we should refer to ourselves as STARS.

STARS stands for: "Smokers taking a rebellious stand"...Good eh?

Yes, we have added positively to our terminology. We are Stars and the antis are "Extremists," which indeed they are for never has a truer word been spoken. Moreover, the antis' cannon fodder - those witless, well meaning, yet badly informed morons who make up the rank and file of ASH and other similar human atrocities - are also pretty stupid. I once remember a discussion with one of them and when I pointed out that ETS, in the quantities in which we normally experience it, has never been shown to be a deadly toxic substance, she asked: "Are you trying to insult my intelligence?" I pointed out she had already done that to herself. She has never spoken to me since. Excellent!

So there we are. Go forth good people, take your rebellious stands, give the antis more headaches, for we are stars in the ascendant, and they, are but waning moons.