Sunday, February 04, 2007

Converting the Heathen

I was amused by an article in my local newspaper which recounted what happened when UK ASH missionary Deborah Arnott went to darkest Africa to convert the heathen.

It was a hot sticky day and Ms Arnott found herself in a village in the middle of the Congo where she had to deliver a lecture on second hand smoke.

She was feeling very tired but did her best and spoke for some minutes about ASH's latest research. To her amazement the villagers responded vociferously, waving their hands in the air and shouting "Stanton Glantz, Stanton Glantz!"

Heartened by the the fact the villagers had heard of this great hero, Ms Arnott proceeded animatedly and after an hour she concluded her speech. Again, the applause was enthusiastic and again the villagers shouted "Stanton Glantz, Stanton Glantz!"

Flushed with success, Ms Arnott prepared for her departure but then she noticed a strange building up on top of a hill. "Pray tell me," she asked the chief, "what is that building?"
"Ah," said the chief "it's a temple and it's also the home of our sacred bull."

Seeking to ingratiate herself further with these winsome people, Ms Arnott said: " I must go up there and see it."
"Oh no, you can't do that" replied the chief.
"Why ever not?" asked Ms Arnott.
"Well," said the chief, "if you go up there, you'll find yourself knee deep in Stanton Glantz!"
Blad Tolstoy.